7 Tips on How to Have a Difficult Conversation With Your Partner


15 Sep 2020

Mins to read

6 mins to read

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7 Tips on How to Have a Difficult Conversation With Your Partner

We all know that romantic time when you just met on the site like East*** and have no issues or conflicts at all. For any relationship, it is almost impossible not to have any conflicts. When that happens, not only it causes stress but if it's not handled well, it can lead to a relationship’s end.

People are programmed to avoid interpersonal conflicts for the reason that it is such an unpleasant emotional state. But much as we'd like to avoid tough conversations, some issues need to be addressed. These ways to bring up an issue in a relationship that won't start a fight can help ease tough talks.


Don't put off difficult conversations.

It doesn’t matter if you have just met on the site or have a relationship for a long time, you will have to have that conversation and clear everything the issues that bother you. First of all, define why you want to talk. Do you want to clear up misunderstandings or need to confront your partner about a suspected lie or hurtful behavior? Then, think over what you want to achieve from the conversation. If you expect it to go bad, it will. But you need to define your expectations of the conversation and think positively. Finally, accept that it will probably be a stressful conversation, although you don't want either one of you to be stressed, hurt, or angered.


Give up the need to be right.

Even before you ask your partner to have a talk, remember how it all began, your first conversation on East***, and remind yourself that it’s all about finding a solution to a problem. That solution will likely affect your relationships. So it doesn’t matter who’s right and who’s wrong. What matters is that the two of you are working together to improve your life together. Also, remember that the best solutions come from embracing different points of view.


Avoid making accusations.

Don’t accuse your partner of causing the problem or avoiding the issue as nothing kills a productive conversation faster than accusations. Avoid statements like, “You always do this!” or “You always behave like that!” If you don’t fight fair, your partner is likely to feel defensive and counterattack. Probably, this will shut down the conversation and stop any progress you have made.

On the contrary, change the focus from your partner and put it on yourself. Say “I feel lonely because I always start a conversation on East*** What do you think about that?” instead of “You never write to me first, so I’m always initiating the conversation!”. As you see, it suddenly opens things up for a legit discussion.


Stick to the topic at hand.

If you are upset about one thing, resist the temptation to mention other issues or to refer to the previous ones that have been resolved. It will just make your partner feel more defensive and reduce the likelihood of achieving the desired result. However, even if you stick to the topic, your partner might not. To keep things on track, you might say something like, “Let’s talk about one issue at a time,” or, “I’d like to talk about that the next time.”


While your partner is talking, listen and reflect.

Being open is the key to making difficult conversations work. And that means truly hearing what your partner is saying when you’re having a discussion. Resist the temptation to interrupt. Stay focused and try to accept your partner’s comments before you start talking. And try not to make hasty judgments.

The way your partner will know that you’re listening carefully is to reflect back on what you’ve heard. This shows your partner that you’re truly trying to hear him. Experts call this ‘reflective listening’ - the method to keep stressful situations from escalating. Even if you have a difficult conversation online like on the site, still try to read carefully and reflect your partner’s thoughts.


Try to find something you agree with.

Maybe you strongly believe the opposite of what your significant other is saying. But is there any crossover in your feelings? Even a little consensus can help both of you feel that you’re beginning to contribute to a solution. “I know you think we should spend more time together,” you might say. “I agree that spending time together is very important for maintaining good relationships. I just think it will be optimal to spend some time together and also have our private time.”


Take a time-out if needed.

No matter how hard you try, your discussion may reach a point where it’s too heated to continue. If you feel yourself or your partner starting to get too angry to be constructive, it’s okay to take a break from the discussion until you both cool off. You may say something like, “Let’s stop for right now and set a time to speak again”. When you’re both calm, try approaching the conversation once again. However, if you see no way out, you might want to see a professional to help you work through your difficulties.

Go for a walk, sleep on the issue, or otherwise distance yourself from the conversation in a way that works for you and your relationship. However, it’s important to return to the conversation when you feel ready.


Given the difficulties outlined in this article, you may feel that it is better to avoid difficult conversations. However, it will be hard for your relationship to develop without them. Having the courage to start and have a difficult conversation can bring rich rewards and will leave you both feeling happier.

Since we all have flaws, focus on not attacking because you will only push your partner away. The next time you feel upset at your partner, before pointing out his or her faults, examine your own thoughts and responses if you want your relationship to endure the test of time.

Foreverloveonline Team

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