Rules for Getting Along With Your In-Laws


05 Sep 2020

Mins to read

7 mins to read

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Rules for Getting Along With Your In-Laws

No matter where your significant other and you meet, in a local bar or on a dating site, and where they come from, it is likely it is a part of their culture to be close with their parents and still be influenced quite a lot by their opinions and views on the world. Family is the highest value in modern culture, and for a lot of people, it is essential to see that their partners get along with their parents. After all, all the family holidays tend to go much better if they are celebrated in an atmosphere of mutual respect and acceptance.

Of course, it might be somewhat difficult to treat your partner’s relatives appropriately, as it is essentially not your choice to have to interact with them. And, unfortunately, on a lot of occasions, they are nowhere nearly as compatible with you as your loved one. After all, you probably didn't know the nature of your partner's relatives when you met in a club or on a dating site.

Sometimes, without a doubt, it happens that you become best friends and real family with your in-laws. But often so, you just have to tolerate them and be civil around them. Here are some of the rules to follow if you want to get along with your in-laws.

Accept That You Are a Part of One Family Now

It might not easy to execute, especially if they are particularly not your type of people. However, you need to accept the fact that they come as a deal package with that stunning girl you once met on a dating site or pub and now you are married, and you cannot change that no matter how hard you try. Moreover, you also need to understand that they are the people related to your significant other and therefore are at least somewhat similar to them, so quit wishing you were not related and try to see something you admire about them.

Apart from that, never talk poorly about them. Not only this is not nice and will likely boomerang back right at you. After all, not all people wish you well, and chances are your rude comments will eventually reach your in-laws and create an awkward situation, but it also engenders negative thinking in your mind. If you keep nagging your partner about that one thing her relatives did wrong, you will find yourself stuck in a constant loop of not liking them to the point you cannot bear to be in the same room as them. And then family celebrations get awkward as heck.

Find Common Interests and Shared Hobbies

There are only so many things people can like, and chances are if you have similar backgrounds, you will inevitably find something in common with your in-laws. Let that thing that you both love be the main topic of your conversations so that they were always positive and light-hearted. If you have a shared hobby, that would be particularly useful as you could spend some time together, doing it! It works just like when you meet a person on a dating site: first you have to find something in common, and then it will help a sympathy to grow!

In fact, you might even find yourself starting to like each other if you click through these shared activities.

Identify Safe Topics That Do Not Trigger Any Party Involved in the Conversations

It is often that we do not get along with those people that talk about things we do not want to talk about. Therefore, putting this fact into reverse in order to draw a recommendation out of that, identify the topic that all of you are fine with discussing, and stick to those. This would help to make your communication more pleasant and overall positive as you would not have to argue over the things you disagree on.

Speaking of which, remember that the topic of politics is an all-time taboo to discuss at the family gatherings. Not only to get along with the in-laws but even with those people who are your blood relatives, it is never a good idea to have heated arguments based on political grounds. Just accept that all of us have our own views on different things, and it is not polite to demean any of the positions.

Limit the Time Spent Together with Your In-Laws

While this might sound counter-intuitive, this is, in fact, a rather good piece of advice. Spending too much time with the people that you are not particularly fond of can be stressful and result in a number of petty arguments that could potentially lead to the bigger ones. Try to remember the poor date with a girl from a dating site like Lov*** You managed to end this one really fast, didn't you?

Therefore, plan ahead the time spent with your in-laws and allow yourself breaks from interaction with them. If you are staying around theirs over an extended period of time, consider booking a hotel instead of spending too much time in their house.

Be a Good Listener

Do not assume the worst. After all, your in-laws could be cool, too! Do not be prejudiced, especially since they know a lot of interesting and funny about the person you love. So listen to what they have to say attentively, and learn something about your spouse’s background. They might tell you more interesting things than you found out about her from the profile on a dating site! Chances are, you could bond over that. After all, it is your partner that is the reason you even know these people.

Ignore Any Provocations

Sometimes, in-laws can be quite nasty with their provocative questions and statements trying to cause a scene. Do not give in, and better keep your mouth shut if you feel like there could be a potentially dangerous situation arising from a small disagreement.

Learn How to Compromise

Being able to meet in the midway, or compromising, is the basic principle of social communication, so apply this to your interactions with your in-laws to get along with them. Understand their needs and try to act in accordance with their expectations. Obviously, as long as it is acceptable to you, too!

Foreverloveonline Team

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